So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
did you just send me my own nude
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
