My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
