we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
