tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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