That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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