oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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