took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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