if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
