hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
