last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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