smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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