"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
