When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
