i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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