I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
