Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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