nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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