I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
