i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
