i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
