it was like eating out sand paper
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
