he thought i was a dude.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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