That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
