It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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