I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
