Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
