smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize