I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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