I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize