I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
