Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you had me at cake vodka
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
