If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
