Acid is not a monday night drug
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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