I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
