i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
