don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize