i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
