i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
