Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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