I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
