just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
