Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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