well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
