New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
