The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
