Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
