apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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