the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My ass is underappreciated
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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