i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
