I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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