There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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