i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
