i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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