Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
third nipple confirmed
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
