ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
