you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
