My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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