i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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