Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
