Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
