So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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