Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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