I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize