Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
