She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The power of my boobs compel you
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
